SOUR GRAPES AND ENDANGERED CATS

Picture Courtesy: www.catfacts.org


You threw the book at them,
Hauled them before court,
Said you were not on a witch-hunt,
You only loved to hunt,
You only sought justice.


You allowed them face their accusers,
You gave them a chance to plead,
They choose a plea of innocence
To this you did not agree,
But I do applaud you,
You allowed them lawyers
For the law dictated so,
Human rights demanded so
And you felt it right to do it so.


You held numerous press conferences
Touting your love for rule of law
And good governance,
You believed in the judicial process
Hence your choice to seek redress in court.


They walked in with their lawyers
And you in with your attorney generals
State prosecutors
Star witnesses
And bus loads of evidence.


We followed proceedings keenly
On the news,
In the newspapers
And press conferences of yours.
You had your own opinions on their guilt or innocence,
You felt them guilty
And had no qualms about expressing this in public
We had no problems with your opinions
After all, we all had ours too.

After long and protracted arguments
Accusations and counter accusations
Head butts and rebuttals,
Verdict was pronounced,
Judgment was passed,
The chips did fall,
You were left munching on sour grapes,
With egg on your face
As though part of an elaborate charade.


Licking wounds
Reeling from headbutts
With final verdict still ringing in your ears,
You sat before the cameras and issued death threats
Against poor cats
Looking fancy in blonde curly wigs,
Threatening to take ‘em to the cleaners,
For they failed agree with you in passing judgement.
Guess those sour grapes really do taste bitter,
For you’ve declared open season on the cats,
Calling them prime beef, perfect meat.
I could spare you a cup of sugar to go with your sour grapes
But I’m very wary of doing so.
You just might come hunting me one day
All in the name of friendly fire,
Mistaken identity
And your trigger-happy political fingers.


Guess your declaration of war on cats
Does not amount to causing fear and panic,
Guess that was just conversation among friends,
How about your throw in a bounty for good measure,
That sure would be one heck of a party then.
Kindly lend me your English dictionary
For I fail understand your kind of English language.
Funny how uncomfortable it gets when the shoe’s
On your own foot,
Feels entirely different when it sits on another’s.


Hot off the wire,
Fresh from the presses,
Cats called in reinforcements,
Be easy ma brother,
Let go of the sour grapes,
Take your foot out of your mouth,
We would not mind sparing you a few oranges instead,
I hear they taste much better than sour grapes.
You walk a thin line,
Careful, just might become an endangered species,
Cat’s got nine lives,
Yours amounts to only one,
Be smart, don’t play judge and jury
Else you just might find yourself in a muddle,
Going up a creek without a puddle,
Doubt you can even do the waddle.


Kindly look out your window into the yonder,
See that figure atop the hill?
That’s me,
Doing an American Indian dance
Feathers, tomahawks and leather boots on
Drinking and shouting long life to the cats
With accompanying war songs.
Long live freedom and justice,
I pray free speech does truly exist come someday
The cats and I are having quite a ball,
Too bad you and cats do not mix now,
What a shame,
Sad, cats just lost their number one fan,
Wish you could join me in a drink with the cats
But that just might be the death of you.


You just got cat-spraddled
By a figure quite cat-tish
While making cat-calls
Among the cat-acombs,
Bet you thought you were the cat’s pajamas eh?
Rise; do the cat-walk,
Let this be your cat-harsis,
Take a bow; bask in the cat-calls.