A DEADLY GAME OF HEALTH INSURANCE

CLIPART OF A DOCTOR AND PATIENT
Courtesy: www.iclipart.com



Splendid news I tell you,
Splendid news
They thought of health insurance
What perfect news
All who heard gave them rave reviews
Health insurance,
That sounded way better than
Our present pay per view,
Sorry, I meant cash and carry.


People were sent all across the nation
Adverts were shown on television
With sketches and demonstrations
Almost all local dialects were employed in this exercise,
The entire nation was blanketed


The poor broke their piggy banks,
Others went hungry for days
Just to make the necessary payment,
Some worked overtime,
Doing both day and the graveyard shifts,
All clamouring for a piece of healthy insurance.


Eventually the health insurance messiah rolled
Out amidst pomp and pageantry.
Instead of cash,
The infirmed carried insurance cards
To the hospitals.
This really was a novelty.


But there were a few grey areas in this insurance,
We were not quite sure what sort
Of ails were not covered under this insurance.
All they said was,
Most ailments were covered.
Questions were far from few but we played along.


Kofi visited the hospital one early morning,
He complained of a sharp pain in his side,
After waiting in the queue for an eternity,
He got to see the miracle working doctor.
A few queries and tests yielded results,
Apparently, Kofi had appendicitis
Minor surgery was necessary.
Then came unhealthy news
This sort of insurance did not cover Kofi’s ailment
Kofi and his appendix were on their own.


A fortnight ago, Paul was taken ill
He felt feverish all through the night
And could barely eat a thing the next morning.
Mummy rushed him to the nearest hospital
Health insurance card in hand
After a long and uncomfortable wait,
They finally saw the doctor.
He diagnosed Paul’s condition as malaria
Picked up his pen and began scribbling on his pad.


He sent them to the dispensary with a prescription,
Mummy presented the prescription at the counter
Took a seat and patiently waited
Paul lay on the hospital bench,
Shaking uncontrollably like a leaf.
Eventually, the pharmacist called out Paul’s name
Mummy went forward only to be given unhealthy news,
Only paracetamol was available,
The others had to be bought elsewhere with cold cash,
Oh!!! what a deathly insurance.


In spite of the shortcomings of this insurance,
The people embraced it wholeheartedly,
After all, it was still work-in-progress.
The long queues
The lengthy processes,
Photocopying of documents
And other headaches brought on by this insurance,
But this was way better than the previous
Cash and carry health care system.


Then one day,
In came a new sheriff,
The old one lost his coveted seat,
New sheriff sat back, tanning his hide,
Watched the insurance scheme run aground,
Calling it a bogus scheme,
Leaking like a sponge just out of water,
He said it was an unhealthy scheme,
Had a better one on paper
He’d unveil soon so please watch this space.
Now the hospitals no longer accept
Health insurance cards as payment.
It is cash and carry all over again,
The poor and infirmed sit in the wards
Without cash, mourning the
Death of a fledgling health insurance.
Others who have cash now subscribe to pay as you go.


Battered, bruised and unfairly coloured
There lies our novelty
Our messiah of a healthy insurance.
There he lies writhing in pain,
The grim reaper’s scythe in his side,
A man with an umbrella towering over him.
He lies bleeding on the marble floor
The tears of the infirmed, his only company.
I’m off to find him a healthy casket
An eco friendly one, befitting his status.
He tried his best to make health accessible to all,
Was never perfect
But he was a healthy beginning
Yet they killed him,
Said he was as clumsy as a drunken elephant,
They killed him for no real reason.


I’m now done pasting the obituary notices
The gong gong beater will beat his gong tomorrow,
In a fortnight’s time we shall gather
Under the sacred mango tree and say goodbye
To our health insurance.
Come one, come all, come let’s bid him farewell,
You can come clad in red, black or blue
But please!! Do bring along your insurance cards,
We shall throw them into his casket
While lowering him into the ground,
An insurance scheme assassinated by dirty tricks
He left behind a wife and five children.


Could they not have propped him up?
They’ve taken the shirts of peoples backs
Without the slightest bit of moral qualm,
Removed the very ground from underneath their feet,
Sentenced many to die
Many sure have died
Just so they could make a point.
We await your version of health insurance.
But before I go, a word of caution,
Do not show your face at the funeral grounds
For grief makes sane people act irrationally.
Fare thee well oh health insurance,
As unhealthy as you may have been
You were a worthwhile beginning,
Our pioneering march towards a healthy insurance.